Wednesday, August 1, 2012

One Year Ago...

A year ago today, my precious little boy was born.  I can't tell you how scared I was when I was told it was time.  I was quickly whisked into surgery.  I had so many thoughts going through my mind...I wasn't ready, it was too early...I still had 6 weeks to go, is he going to be okay (we already knew he had trisomy 21, an enlarged kidney, and a heart defect), what will he look like (I had even looked a pictures of babies with down syndrome to prepare myself), had we really prepared ourselves for the arrival of our son, how was I going to explain all of this to my daughter...  Then they put him in my arms.  I did not see the Down's syndrome, I saw a precious little boy with blond hair (yes, blond..totally surprised us) and I was totally in love.  I don't remember much after that.  I just know he was rushed off to the NICU while I recovered.  The next 20 days were a whirl-wind as Carson stayed in the NICU and we traveld back and forth trying to get that little bundle to eat.  The nurses were wonderful.  It was then I realized he was just like any other baby.  He might need a little extra care, but we loved him more than words could express and so did everyone else that came in contact with him. 

This year has been one of the longest and shortest of our lives.  We had no clue what life would be like when we found out Carson has Down's syndrome along with other health issues.  There was no way to fully prepare.  I must say it has been way eaiser than I ever imagined.  Now I didn't say it was easy.  It has been hard at times (okay very hard).  We have good days and tear filled ones (lots of them).  The hardest thing right now has been the surgeries, especially the upcoming heart surgery.  I am pretty much a nervous wreck and the surgery is still 2 weeks out. For the most part we have a pretty normal life with a few more doctors visits and therapies.  We do all the same things any family does.  Kaylee does swimming and gymnastics, Carson has therapy.  Carson has blessed us with many new and wonderful friends and a great support group.  He has opened our eyes to a whole new world.  A much slower one, where we take one day at a time.  We are so fortunate to have such amazing family and friends.  I thank everyone for all the prayers, support, dinners, shoulders to cry on, and most of all people to celebrate a very special and wonderful life with. 

Last weekend we had Carson's 1st birthday party and we celebrated with close family and friends.  It was a dinosaur theme and tons of fun.  It is always such a blur when you are hosting the party, but everyone seemed to have a great time.  Kaylee was a good party planner and had fun helping me.  This birthday was so bittersweet to me.  As happy as I was about celebrating his first year of life, I knew it meant it was time for his heart surgery.  I am trying not to focus too much on the scariness of it all and focus on the healthy heart he will have when it is all over with.  Please continue to shower us with prayers for strength as we get nearer to his surgery.

(Here are a few new pics of the kiddos by Diana Busch Photography)

We have our one year old well check tomorrow.  So I will update all the weight/ height and developmentally stuff later on this week.  I am not sure if I have shared on the blog, but we have a crawler!  We couldn't be more proud of all the work Carson puts into everything he does and  big sister for cheering him on.


  1. Happy first birthday, Carson! So sorry we couldn't make his party! Hopefully we can catch up another time soon. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers as the heart surgery date approaches. What a beautiful family you are, and what an amazing little guy you have in precious Carson!

  2. Please keep us updated on the surgery. What a sweet post about your feelings when going into labor. Youre such a good mommy